The Move

We have moved so much. This move though is different. At first I considered it bitter-sweet. Now all it is leaving is the bitter part. I'm moving to Kansas alone. I am leaving my good friends behind and in a different way then before. Im used to by now moving from base to base. Making new friends at new bases is just a part of it. Family is your rock and it makes the transition easier. But all I have are my kids. I have no one. I will know no one. Im going all alone and will be there all alone. And I dont doubt I will make friends there just as I have every other place but Im not sure. How is that going to work regarding the circumstances? Im scared to death, Im worried like I have never been worried before. I have no rock and no security leaving here and I am leaving for once everything that I have secure in my life. My kids are going to hurt leaving here because grandma will no longer be around all the time. I hurt because the last 3 years have been hell. I never wish what I have been through on my worst enemy. I only hope I can find the strength to somehow swallow this awful feeling for if anyone else the kids. Just thinking about it puts a lump in my throat, makes my heart heavy and my eyes well up. Im praying for strength...lots of strength. And for once I don't know if I am actually strong enough.